Did it again

Well, opps did it again, had a slip. For me it is around emotions. I had a huge daughter issue arise and don’t want to go into detail but it was so painful and I went to the ½ uneaten carton of ice cream left over from a New Years Eve party. Ate it all, almost licked the sides as well. I am a sugar addict and a food addict. Been addicted to all kinds of things in my life but this is my first addiction and started when I was 5 years old. It is part of my story and I have probably already told it in a blog earlier. It all stems around my sister who was taken away and put in a home for other mentally retarded people when I was 5, and at kindergarten that day. Came home and had a babysitter, no one told me it would be the last time she would live with me, and I would have to visit her at the institution for the rest of her life. My mom left me a box of raisin nets on the Clorox cleaned counter and I describe it as a glowing box of comfort. That was the day it started for me and has grown for 42 years into a life of torment and self-hatred. I am pushing to restart button yet again today and am awaiting on 5 books I ordered about how to eat low carb just to help me to remember why I am doing this and also to connect to others who are doing this.
I am truly sad today, but am also not giving up. My issue with my daughter has given me another chance to find peace within me and to go forward with good intensions in my heart. I am looking for a purpose still and this is part of the journey.
I am loving listening to podcasts and reading blog of others who struggle like I do. And am hopeful that I will recover to a place that I am capable of being a whole person once again.
I truly am grateful to all the comments and love people have given me. Thank- you.