I’m so insecure. I’ve been holding my own, dark pink ketosis stick and all… ugh. Today I went on to my daughters site and she had downloaded pictures of her bio mom and 1/ 2 sister and they are holding my grandbabies and my heart is so broken today. Plus, the bio mom has lost all her weight and looks great and so did my daughter. I’m so jealous and afraid that I will always be this heavy and out of shape. My back hurts and I’m really down today and needed a place to just talk about it, well, write about it. I’m so broken hearted to not be with my grandbabies whom I love so much and they live such a long ways away. I hate jealousy; it really is a green-eyed monster. I hate that I compare myself to others and feel like a failure. I’ve been low carbing for a while and have stalled despite all my efforts. I’m really frustrated and feel alone, which is silly. I have so many friends online in the low carb world. I belong to a support group but have one little fragile kid who writes me all the time and I am afraid to share how I am feeling. See this isn’t a good headspace for me to be in. What do you do when you stall weeks on end despite really doing low carb and I’ve gone off caffeine and stopped drinking crystal light. Eating totally great low carb foods. Drinking all my water, taking my vitamins, I’m baby steppin’ (What about Bob), but I’m not exercising and I have some aversion to it. Maybe it is like the last thing I can control? I sure can’t control how jealous I feel about the other woman (ex-wife) and her weight loss. I actually obsess on it. I’m mental right now with thoughts of comparison. Do I even put this on my blog or does this stay in my safe journal that no one reads? I’m going to put it out there and see if I get some relief. I’m impatient today and it is two days before Christmas and I have a sore on my tongue from walnuts. OK, TMI. Oh, God, great giver of peace and freedom I call on you to rescue me from me! I am in so much pain and I want to be free of the obsession on myself.
3 comments:
You need a positive thought to grab hold of and to believe about yourself. Find something that you cherish and admire about yourself and use that as your mantra until these jealous feelings pass...and they will. Say it 100 times if you have to. Say it and believe it. It's just a low time for you.
Regarding exercise. There is probably some activity that you would enjoy, if only you could discover it. Dancing? Ice-skating? Tobagganing?
Hey you :)
I'm back!!! Tell me what things you're eating??? It could be the nuts that are stalling you right now. You may be eating things that you think are ok, but really aren't. Are you eating any low carb bars or shakes??? They stall a lot of people (including me!!!). It can be tricky to find what exactly is stalling you, but we can :) I couldn't exercise in the beginning because of my weight, but as I lost more and more I slowly started doing exercise...slowly, but I did it. Even sitting in a chair and doing leg lifts and arm lifts (with small water bottles in your hands) is GREAT. Little steps sweetie. You'll get there. I still struggle with exercise cause I am lazy at heart...I mean REALLY lazy :) I think it's something your eating and not the fact that you aren't exercising. Don't get me wrong, we all need to move our bodies, but I have a feeling it is something you're eating. That's just me :) We'll figure it out...I promise. No worries!!! You're doing great!!! Don't give up. I'm stalled right now myself *darn it all* and need to figure out why too :/ We will!!!
thank you so much you both for the support. Yes, I need something positive to hold onto and yes, I think it is something I am eating... thank you just knowing someone cares is so awesome... warm hugs.
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